I'm Not Meant to Be a Chicken

Today in sacrament meeting we had a couple of recent converts speak on their conversions and their faith. It was really uplifting to listen to and if you know them you are proud of every step they take because they are awesome. We heard about their lives and their trip to the temple to do baptisms for the dead and were inspired by their courage. The husband in particular was able to speak to my soul.

He shared a story...

...about a baby eagle that fell from its nest and was raised as a chicken. This eagle was content to behave this way and didn't know any different. Finally a naturalist came and spoke to the farmer about the eagle.  

The naturalist tried twice to get the eagle to fly from the farm by placing him up on a fence post and telling him he was more than a chicken. Both times the bird looked back at his adopted home and feeling comfortable there, jumped back down and remained with the chickens. The farmer explained that he was no longer an eagle. 

Finally the naturalist took the eagle far away to a mountain top and tried again. He told the bird who he truly was and allowed him to view the landscape below. Without the comfort of his home the bird was ready to try and he soared.

Finishing this story, the brother stated he was the eagle and he had to be removed from his comfort zone to finally rise to his potential.

For months I have felt so inadequate and weak in my new home, work, and church callings. In our last town I was important and doing well. My teaching was appreciated and needed - with high test scores that were improving. My church work wasn't huge, but I played the organ and taught classes and felt needed and capable of serving. Our home life made sense with me working during the day and my wife working at night more for her sanity than anything, but she loved it.

Now I work in a big city in a different state. I am one of 30 math teachers instead of nine. With new textbooks, all regular kids (I've always had 2 classes of honors kids each year), and a high school known for high achievement - I feel incapable a lot. Throw in the fact that my wife is pregnant and stressing over the messes our children make in the home, my church callings that don't fit my personality and skill sets, and you have a recipe for low self-esteem.

Then that talk was given in church today and I heard the words "out of my comfort zone" and felt the Spirit whisper, "You are here because you are meant to be more. You need this to learn and grow into something greater than you could have been where you were." I felt a little peace and knew I wasn't struggling aimlessly.

Sure, I will continue to feel that I am not up to the task. I surely don't do everything I am supposed to do in order to be perfect in all the parts of my life, but who does? Only those who either have sweat through the hard times or those who refuse to leave the comfort of the hen house to soar up where they belong.

I know that life will continue to be challenging and I am positive I will keep struggling just to stand on my feet and say "I'm okay." However, I know that my Savior stands with me. He continues to led and guide me through his Holy Spirit and the messages of hope and peace he sends my way. I will take the road less traveled on to be the man he needs me to be.