Another Look

NEW RESULTS
Aspie Score 148/200, Neurotypical 60/200

October 2010 Scores:
 Aspie Score 164/200, Neurotypical 46/200

First of all, let me clarify that I am not concerned about the results nor am I running around shouting, "See! I told you so!" I retook it at the request of my wife since the week I took the test the first time was during a very emotional week (Caleb had been diagnosed and I was worrying about myself). She was just wondering and not concerned about me either.

I am simply posting the score because I not only took it with a calm and almost uncaring attitude this time, but also because I noticed the shape of the chart is close to the original. It is a pattern, not necessarily of autism, and a part of who I am (though not guaranteed asperger).

If you respond to this post with comments about "Don't worry about it" or "I really don't think you should..." and so forth, I will simply refer to this final sentence because it is a curiosity and no more: I am fine.

Thought: Emotional Credation

While thinking about emotions and their place in my life I found this coming out of my head:

By telling myself not to feel something (by burying it or by other means) I am telling myself I am wrong. No one wants to feel wrong - it hurts and you makes you feel less of person. I once heard, and I may be a little off on the numbers, that it takes nine positive encounters to fend off one negative experience. Then burying most of my feelings tells myself, constantly, that I am wrong - creating a perpetual negativism within me.

If I was dealing with another person's incorrect emotion, the appropriate response would be to first validate their feelings before anything else is done. The emotion is real and is a part of them. Even if it is based on a false idea, to them it is truth. You cannot progress until you let them know they can trust you and you believe in them. The same standards must be applied to ourselves or we invalidate our own lives and create torment on top of buried emotions.