Helping at an Accident Scene

Today I drove home like normal. When I was nearly home I came upon an accident scene. An SUV had rolled and was sitting in the middle of the street. A few people were nearby.

I felt pulled like I had to get out of the car and help. As I did so, I hurried to the other side of the vehicle and with a few others looked at the lifeless body on the ground. The woman was dead and even though we checked for a pulse and signs of life, we all pretty much knew it once we got there.

After a brief look for anything helpful in and around the car my attention turned to the three children being looked after a few cars down. One was the woman's child, a 10-year-old girl. The other two were her grandchildren. They didn't know for certain if the lady was okay. We didn't elaborate.

Like when I felt I needed to leave my vehicle, I felt compelled to remain with the children. I hadn't seen the accident nor had I actually even touched anything at this point, but I knew inside I needed to remain. A kind woman, an elementary school teacher, was interacting with the children to keep them focused on other things. I joined her and let this teacher go and see how bad things were so she knew what to say around the children - I didn't want to promise them their grandma/mother would be okay.

One girl, aged seven, named Evie became my focus. The little baby was being held and the 10-year-old seemed to have enough support. I hugged Evie and stayed nearby as EMS workers, cops, and other bystanders continued to come to the scene. One person had seen the accident - the woman had been driving too fast and didn't make the turn at the curve in the road on time.

At some moment, while they were checking the vitals of the children and calling for help transporting them I stopped and looked down. Just off the road was a crystal - nothing fancy, just some quartz that looked like an ordinary rock on the outside. I picked it up and held it, knowing it was meant for one of the kids.

Moments later, Evie needed to have a neck-brace put on as a precaution. She was not happy and despite the kindly teacher and the EMS workers' gentle attempts at persuasion she was only getting more anxious and nearly sobbing. I let them try to help her, but then the feeling grew within me to give the rock to Evie,

I interrupted the two adults and speaking directly to the girl, said, "Evie, do you see this rock? It is a crystal and has the power to help you. I want you to squeeze it in your hand when you are scared and it will help you to be brave. Hold on to it." She took the rock and accepted the neck brace without further fuss.

That was it. I didn't really interact any further with the kids. Eventually they were hauled away in ambulances to the hospital to await family members' arrivals. The police had me move my car (which was conveniently parked over the skids marks and oddly protecting the dirt tracks in the road that the SUV had made).  I left and went home.

The emotions of the event are deep and profound. I want to weep and throw myself on my bed. I felt rather helpless there. I knew God was using this to teach me something.

But, I also know I was there to help Evie. For some reason, God wanted me to reach out to her and provide her with a bit of hope and peace. I feel like I was a guardian angel for a minute. It may not be a significant part in my life, but perhaps it was significant to her.

If God can send a simple man like me to provide a few moments of peace to a random girl on the street, then He can surely help any of us when we need it. He knows us and cares for us. He will lead and guide us. Trust in Him

I'm Not Meant to Be a Chicken

Today in sacrament meeting we had a couple of recent converts speak on their conversions and their faith. It was really uplifting to listen to and if you know them you are proud of every step they take because they are awesome. We heard about their lives and their trip to the temple to do baptisms for the dead and were inspired by their courage. The husband in particular was able to speak to my soul.

He shared a story...

...about a baby eagle that fell from its nest and was raised as a chicken. This eagle was content to behave this way and didn't know any different. Finally a naturalist came and spoke to the farmer about the eagle.  

The naturalist tried twice to get the eagle to fly from the farm by placing him up on a fence post and telling him he was more than a chicken. Both times the bird looked back at his adopted home and feeling comfortable there, jumped back down and remained with the chickens. The farmer explained that he was no longer an eagle. 

Finally the naturalist took the eagle far away to a mountain top and tried again. He told the bird who he truly was and allowed him to view the landscape below. Without the comfort of his home the bird was ready to try and he soared.

Finishing this story, the brother stated he was the eagle and he had to be removed from his comfort zone to finally rise to his potential.

For months I have felt so inadequate and weak in my new home, work, and church callings. In our last town I was important and doing well. My teaching was appreciated and needed - with high test scores that were improving. My church work wasn't huge, but I played the organ and taught classes and felt needed and capable of serving. Our home life made sense with me working during the day and my wife working at night more for her sanity than anything, but she loved it.

Now I work in a big city in a different state. I am one of 30 math teachers instead of nine. With new textbooks, all regular kids (I've always had 2 classes of honors kids each year), and a high school known for high achievement - I feel incapable a lot. Throw in the fact that my wife is pregnant and stressing over the messes our children make in the home, my church callings that don't fit my personality and skill sets, and you have a recipe for low self-esteem.

Then that talk was given in church today and I heard the words "out of my comfort zone" and felt the Spirit whisper, "You are here because you are meant to be more. You need this to learn and grow into something greater than you could have been where you were." I felt a little peace and knew I wasn't struggling aimlessly.

Sure, I will continue to feel that I am not up to the task. I surely don't do everything I am supposed to do in order to be perfect in all the parts of my life, but who does? Only those who either have sweat through the hard times or those who refuse to leave the comfort of the hen house to soar up where they belong.

I know that life will continue to be challenging and I am positive I will keep struggling just to stand on my feet and say "I'm okay." However, I know that my Savior stands with me. He continues to led and guide me through his Holy Spirit and the messages of hope and peace he sends my way. I will take the road less traveled on to be the man he needs me to be.