R-rated Movies

Wow. I thought this one was a cut and dry subject in the LDS community. Since I was a youth the counsel to not see R-rated movies has been drilled into my head. I once went against that counsel as a teenager and felt so guilty about that before my mission I had to talk to the bishop and swear to never see that film again in its unedited form.
Yesterday, as has happened before, a friend spoke of their disdain for this rule. Others have done likewise telling me how it wasn't spoken as a commandment from a prophet of God and didn't work anyway since the ratings system is flawed. I finally had to say something, even if it is just in this blog.

What is it about this Church that its people can't reconcile what a prophet of God or his fellow laborers have said with what the membership should do in their lives? I often hear people justify not listening to the prophet by saying, "It was only a suggestion," or "It's just a guideline and I'm mature enough to understand it." Where on earth did the prophet, the apostles or seventy ever stand up and say, "By the way, this is just a good idea. Don't worry about living it completely,"? When an authority of God even casually mentions something, we would be wise to look into it if not follow it, but when several have said it and preached it, it is not just a passing whim or fancy; it is doctrine.

Curious to know what they actually said about R-rated films? I was. I figured, Maybe I'm wrong. So many people seem to have justifiable reasons for ignoring this counsel; at least in part. Perhaps they have a valid point. There was only way to find out. Go read some quotes and talks. Here is the summary (and I emphasize summary because they don't talk about it only once or twice).

President Benson said:
"Consider carefully the words of the prophet Alma to his errant son, Corianton, Forsake your sins, and go no more after the lusts of your eyes. (Alma 39:9) The lusts of your eyes. In our day, what does that expression mean? Movies, television programs and video recordings that are both suggestive and lewd....We counsel you young men [and women] not to pollute your minds with such degrading matter, for the mind through which this filth passes is never the same afterwards. Don't see R-rated movies or vulgar videos or participate in any entertainment that is immoral, suggestive or pornographic. Watch those shows and entertainment that lift the spirit and promote clean thoughts and actions," (April Conference, 1986; Quoted in Ensign May 1986, p. 45, emphasis added).

Presiding Bishop Peterson:

"Now, my brothers and sisters, beware of loose thinkers, be they peers or teachers. The subtlety of their influence can be disarming and destructive. Regardless of what others may do, there should not be any X- or R-rated movies that we participate in viewing or talking about. Shun them as you would the plague. A good movie with only a little pornography or vulgarity is not a good movie; it is satanic," (Bishop H. Burke Peterson, BYU Speeches Oct 25, 1983, emphasis added).

Elder Robert L Simpson (Assistant to the Council of the Twelve):

"It goes without saying that all X- and R-rated movies are automatically eliminated," (October Conference, 1972; Quoted from Ensign, Jan 1973, p112).

President Hartman Rector, Jr. (President of the First Council of the Seventy):

"Do not attend R- or X-rated movies," (October Conference, 1972; Quoted from Ensign, Jan 1973, p130).

How can we, with any true degree of honesty, say that we are following the counsel of living and modern prophets when we ignore such a simple and profound statement? We cannot - for it is clear that those representing the Savior wish us to avoid such things.

Some still say these are only guidelines and that the standard has changed and it is more open to interpretation. STANDARDS DO NOT LESSEN OVER TIME! They are built upon and strengthened, but not diminished. God does not say on one day, "Do not have sexual relations outside marriage," and on the following, "As long as you really love each other, it is okay." He does not change and will not change. As the world gets more wicked the bar will be raised to match and keep us out of filthiness.

Christ's new law was not less than the Law of Moses - it was harder. He told them that it was no longer enough to not kill; even anger was a sin. Acting on sexual desire was still bad and it was now just as bad to look and lust after. It is the same here. We were once counseled by authorized servants of God to not watch R-rated movies and the standard has not slackened, but become more strict. Read the message from the pamphlet For The Strength of Youth (which by the way, this document was prepared and approved by the First Presidency and Counsel of the Twelve):

"Do not attend, view, or participate in entertainment that is vulgar, immoral, violent, or pornographic in any way. Do not participate in entertainment that in any way presents immorality or violent behavior as acceptable," (For the Strength of Youth, 2001).

Brothers and sisters the admonition is not only clear it is absolutely irrefutable. We do not watch R-rated movies and we must carefully screen the others. To those who do not have the same rating system as in America the same standards and rules apply: don't watch movies glamorizing gratuitous sex, violence or moral abandonment. The best counsel is to avoid it if unsure.
Remember there will be those like Bishop Peterson spoke of who subtlety lead us away from the truth, but the counsel was clear then and is stronger now: No R-rated movies and those with milder ratings should be approached cautiously. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Entertainment versus Exaltation - Part One

This blog might be one of the more selfish ones that I write since it hinges on a lot of personal study, reflection and change. I hope it will be of worth to you as well as myself. It will be a multi-part work in the end.

Almost two decades ago, my parents gave me a video game system as a gift. We had very few games for it and the graphics were similar to poorly drawn cartoons, but even coupled with my poor playing skills these things mattered little to me. I loved that system.
As time went by, more games were added and eventually more systems. I developed a bond with the video game world. If I was hurt or upset it would accept me into its varying worlds and allowed me a form of forgetfulness that I attributed to peace. The solace I found there only required time, though the price grew higher throughout the years.
When I got to high school the games were there. I left school work to play them if I did feel at ease. Of course it left the school work undone which added to the stress of life and drove me back to the games again. This cycle led to a lack of social life, poor grades and a lack of self-esteem outside the pixel world.
What disturbed me and has driven me to write this entry is how difficult it was to give up the games even though they contributed nothing of value to my life. It took a lot of introspection, gospel insights and new motivation to break away from their grip. I want to share not only the path I took, but also the teachings from my faith surrounding this topic. Please allow me a little indulgence.

My first real hint, other than my parents, was from Elder M Russel Ballard in the October conference of 2002. I had already been called as a missionary, received my endowments, and was waiting to leave for the Missionary Training Center in November. During this priesthood session address, I, like so many young men that night, felt ripped apart. What a presentation. You could not deny the truth of his words as he boldly declared, "Please understand this: the bar that is the standard for missionary service is being raised. The day of the 'repent and go' missionary is over."
Just moments after this legendary phrase was uttered, Elder Ballard hit me with another spiritual sucker punch. He said to limit "the amount of time spent playing computer games. How many kills you can make in a minute with a computer game will have zero effect on your capacity to be a good missionary." In a moment all the actual preparation I had put into leaving flashed in front of my mind and it paled in comparison to the investment I had made in video game entertainment.

While in my first area on the mission, I found that the problems didn't just disappear. After two more missionaries were added to the area a member family invited us over for dinner. Once the pizza and salad was eaten he invited all four of us to play a video game. Over an hour later I left feeling absolutely ashamed.
Several times since then I have reflected on the phrase, "see that ye serve him with all your heart, might, mind and strength, that ye may stand blameless before God at the last day, " (D&C 4:2). All of my faculties were somewhere else for that hour plus of time. I was not blameless.
I vowed at that point never to let video games interfere with my life again. For my mission I kept my word expect once when it was actually a good moment to sit with a less active member and we talked almost all the time (we played for around 15 minutes). When an investigator gave me a newer game as a gift I put it in my trunk and decided to figure out what to do with it later.
By the time I returned from the mission I had decided to give them up entirely. What worthy purpose had they ever served in my life? I told my family my decision and after being laughed at watched myself fall right back into where I'd been before.

Marrying Stephanie brought great hope and love into my life. I saw our future as both promising and full of joy. Nothing would come between us. Then we got a video game system as a wedding gift.
I am reminded that while I feel horrible about who I was, I was not as bad as many men become and certainly not abusive. What hurts me is knowing that I placed a high value on those games. They meant a lot to me and I would continue to go to them for solace rather than turning with heartfelt communication to my eternal companion when troubles arose; even troubles between the two of us. I did not understand fully the counsel to "let nothing in life take priority over your wife—neither work, recreation, nor hobby," (Russel M Nelson, April Conference 1999).

Continued on Entertainment versus Exaltation - Part Two...

Entertainment versus Exaltation - Part Two

Even after Caleb came into our lives I had the games. There is a picture of him lying next to me while I am holding a controller. As I think of the image the words of the family proclamation flash into my mind. "Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities," (The Family: A Proclamation to the World, emphasis added).

Wholesome implies, "Conducive to moral or general well-being," (Random House Dictionary, 2010). Recreation is "refreshment by means of some pastime, agreeable exercise, or the like," (Random House Dictionary, 2010). Putting the two together forms the definition that I believe was implied: "Refreshment, conducive to well-being, by means of some pastime." Sadly, Caleb was getting nothing out of it and I was not being refreshed. Video games take, they don't give back.

With the ever mounting pressures of school coupled with the demands of family life the gaming finally hit a nerve I could no longer ignore. Speaking specifically to fathers, Harold B Lee said, "The most important of the Lord's work that you will ever do will be the work you do within the walls of your own home," (Strengthening the Home [pamphlet 1973], 7). I felt the import of that calling as I watched my son begin to grow and develop and then my daughter too. They were in my care. God had entrusted them to my wife and I for protection and learning. I knew then that I had to let the games go if I ever wanted to be what God needed me to be.
I took the games to a store and traded them in for cash. Though I had wanted to buy movies with it to ease the pain, the money ended up going to family needs and I never saw it again. It was a much better ending anyway because the addiction to games is just part of the problem. Entertainment as a whole is dangerous without the proper perspective.

For me video games are not an option. Like the people of Ammon I have buried my weapons of war and they will remain there. I will not take them up again. But media in general poses another problem.
"Therefore, choose only entertainment and media that uplift you. Good entertainment will help you to have good thoughts and make righteous choices." (For the Strength of Youth, 2001). Entertainment is not anymore evil in nature than is a television set or a radio. The evil creeps in from the misuse of such things, whether that is overuse or inappropriate content.

Filth is ever present in our media today. Even as good Christian people we often miss the foul ingredients that are embedded in the shows, movies and games we watch. I think of the words of Alma about his son, Corianton's, sin. He asked if Corianton knew sexual misconduct is the worst "yea, most abominable above all sins save it be the shedding of innocent blood or denying the Holy Ghost?" And then he went on, "For behold, if ye deny the Holy Ghost when it once has had place in you, and ye know that ye deny it, behold, this is a sin which is unpardonable; yea, and whosoever murdereth against the light and knowledge of God, it is not easy for him to obtain forgiveness; yea, I say unto you, my son, that it is not easy for him to obtain a forgiveness." (Alma 39:5-6).

Drawing from his words, we have the three worst sins we can commit: Denial of the Holy Ghost, Murder, and Adultery. These are prevalent in all our media today. In fact, our criteria for ratings is largely based on the last two. Denial of the Holy Ghost, while generally referring to the ultimate sin of lying in the face of God, is also a process of getting to that heinous act by ignoring the promptings of the spirit and denying God's existence.
These three sins are in almost every film out there in the world today. Practically all modern shows and cinema deny God in order to pursue another end. It can be that pleasure is the ultimate experience, that only survival of the fittest is truth or even that there is no truth and existence itself is a misappropriated belief. There are thousands of these variants playing every hour on the hour on television stations across the world. They sell us these lies at the price of time and values. This makes it absolutely critical to choose the best entertainment.

I look back at the definition we set up earlier. Entertainment must be refreshing and good to our souls (body, mind and spirit). Sometimes we need a good movie or book to provide a little relief from the world and express things of the soul. A concert or set of music can provide the same thing. Many different options are available and can be pursued if done in wisdom and in order, not in the spirit of glutting ourselves upon it.
Entertainment is not required for salvation, but our sanity may be saved at times by it. It is not tied directly to exaltation, but it isn't denied either. It requires a balance that the world sadly does not understand. We cannot let ourselves become slaves to the television shows and movies of the day.
We must dedicate our lives to following the Savior and his teachings which ask us to give our heart and soul to him, not idols of metal and glass. He wants to bless us and has great desires to uplift us, but cannot do so if we continually shut out the Holy Ghost by the misuse of media.

I love the Lord and am trying to do more to follow him. I hope and pray he will aid all of us in rising above the filth of the world and becoming the saints of God he asks us to be. I say this in his sacred name, Jesus Christ, amen.