While thinking about Asperger's and its potential causes I was bemused by an idea.
You see, I am certainly curious about what may have triggered my son's Asperger's and of course my own struggles, but I am not eager to have the causes known if they implicate my wife or mother's decisions. They have suggested that everything from genetics to diet to immunizations and even mode of birth can be factors. If one was selected as the true progenitor, would I be able to tell the women in my life? Would they be able to face themselves if it was their fault - even in an unintentional way?
Then I realized that it is more like alcoholism and the various drinks that support it. For most of America and many, many people (if not most) around the world, a drink of beer, wine, or something similar is not only okay, but expected. Men come together and watch the game with bottles in tow. Women expect to be "wine and dined" by the men who desire them. Yet, very few think about the risks to the alcoholic nor the problems that alcohol does to everyone regardless of addiction.
No one condemns the world at large for the tolerance of alcohol. Most consider the access to the drug a rite of passage into adulthood and thereafter a privilege thereof. And alcoholics aren't exposed before their first drink of liquor. They find out from the interaction afterwards.
Similarly, we don't know the cause of the Asperger's syndrome for certain. It could be any of the listed items above or it could be something else entirely. What if it is vaccines? Do we begin condemning our mothers for their shortsightedness? I think not. We would, if truly understanding, forgive them knowing they were doing everything they "knew" to be right to help us in our growth and progress in life.
In light of this idea, I still wish to know the cause someday, but only in general to help in the future. I am not upset at my wife or mother for choices they have made. I know them both well and see they love their children and have done everything in their power to give them life and happiness. I love them and their courageous spirits.
