Poisoned Pedestals

I remember the first time an authority figure let me down and I recognized it. That experience cut me deeply and made me question a lot of things I'd understood. Different events of my past, beliefs I'd held forever, even my own self-image were all shaken permanently. It was at that time that I began learning one of life's hardest lessons - no one, and I mean no one, is perfect.

Now, as simple a lesson as that is, you'd think decades later I would know it well enough to apply it to my life. Since no one is perfect, and I'm included there, I must accept that we all have faults and that goodness doesn't depend on a measurement of our spiritual yin-yang balance, but on something deeper.

After dwelling on this for some weeks now, I've realized that we all place people or our idea of people on pedestals and look at them from down below. These sculpted, chiseled busts of who we think people are give us this strange sense of false comfort and ill-placed trust. Not that placing faith in others is wrong nor believing in the good of others. Rather, it is the erroneous construct that since "so-and-so" is up there on that pedestal, they are trustworthy and good. Sounds a bit like idol worshiping.

There are real dangers in allowing ourselves to build these pedestals and place people on them. In time, we will compare ourselves to our created images and realize we are short and that we are not worthy to be in such a lofty station as them. We will come to know that we will never fit in with our perfect population of statues and despair.

Moreover, we will begin looking down on others and see how even more unlike our creations they are than we. Because we cannot bring ourselves up to the status of our perfect, objectified creations, we will tear others down - for if they are even worse than us, perhaps we aren't so bad after all. If we truly knew what we were doing in our mind we would be horrified and disgusted with ourselves.

I try very hard not to tear down my colleagues and those I love. When I catch myself doing it, I am quick to dismiss the thought and remind myself of how the Lord loves them and they are amazing, faults and all. I used to be very good at not judging others much at all - though that became lessened as I grew older. But I have little strength in resisting the temptation to destroy myself.

Lately, I've realized that I've placed an image of myself on the same pedestal that I've been removing my parents, leaders, and friends from. While I have slowly grown to accept their flaws and see the good in them I refuse to ignore my own mistakes and focus on them. Each time I fall short of completing an assignment or I fail to foresee a problem, I feel as though I have failed beyond hope. I have to be the perfect image of myself that I placed on the stand or I am not good enough.

You see, like many others, I've constructed a pedestal and put a bust on there. For some it is their leaders, for others like me, themselves, and still others it is some idea or concept in their life. No matter what we place on that exalted place, if it isn't the Lord himself, we are only poisoning ourselves with blind faith, misguided aspirations, or love of mammon and things. Wanting to be better and perfect ourselves is good - doing it in a way that ignores the truth of how each of us is flawed will only lead to further heartache and sorrow.

I have read several biographies of LDS church presidents and grown to love how these imperfect men did their best in spite of their weaknesses (and sometimes because of them) and ended up making the world a better place. It is marvelous to me to know how they struggled with my afflictions, my temptations, my worries, and still performed so many labors of love in this life. I have been gaining a truer testimony of this work since beginning to understand what many of the Lord's anointed have stated - that they are "mortal and subject to human imperfection" but "While neither perfect nor infallible, these good men and women have been perfectly dedicated to leading the work of the Lord forward as He has directed." (Elder Ballard, October 2015 General Conference).

Over time I hope I will be able to remove the pristine statue of myself that I placed on high and be able to just find joy in my own progression and seeing the hand of the Lord in my life. That I will rejoice in all the good God does in my life. That I will never again place another soul on a pedestal nor compare another to someone I've placed there. That I will come to understand how the words "Exaltation is our goal; discipleship is our journey," (Pres. Utchdorf, October 2015 General Conference) really tell us to aim high, desire to be better, but continue putting one foot in front of the other now and with joy.

And that I will only choose as a perfect role model for myself, Jesus Christ - the one exception to the rule "no one is perfect."

The Lie Within the Truth

I've always been puzzled by a stranger side of truth. In the scriptures, it is clear that "truth is knowledge of things as they are, and as they were, and as they are to come," (D&C 93:24), but when answering the Pharisees, Sadducees and even simple men and women, it says that "without a parable spake [Jesus] not unto them" (Mark 4:34). Another scripture in Alma tells us that men of God may give the truth "only according to the portion of his word which he doth grant unto the children of men," (Alma 12:9). Somehow, truth is not defined in the sense of the dramatic courtroom oath "the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth," like I once thought.

Even today I have to fight the tendency to spout everything I know or feel on a subject. It just eats at my brain leaving a piece out. For instance, in the Garden of Eden, when God is confronting Adam, Eve and Lucifer for their sins, God asks Adam what happened. While some mock his response as a blaming of all things on women, I see it as an admission of guilt with an explanation of events, not an excuse. Listen to his words, "The woman thou gavest me, and commandest that she should remain with me, she gave me of the fruit of the tree and I did eat," (Moses 4:18). His final words to God were "I did eat." Not, "It's all her fault!"

But at the same time, he didn't go over the whole story in detail. He told what was important - Eve gave him fruit and he ate it. No mentioning of Eve's listening to the serpent or how horrid she was. He simply said the main event and his part. Sometimes I feel that I am missing the point here.

See, while I desire for the truth to be blasted out into the open for me and others to hear, I never remember that for each of us "truth is in the eye of the beholder." We have our own interpretations of the world and filter events and conversations accordingly. I know I have mishandled multiple moments in life with my own personal interpretation of truth clashing with others'.

It is falsehood to assume that divulging everything at once constitutes the truth. "Truth is knowledge of things as they are, and as they were, and as they are to come," (D&C 93:24) means that we must not only acknowledge what is true, but the state of those receiving it from us. For example, a parent does not explain the innermost details of sex with a little child, nor really even when they reach adulthood. Somethings cannot be shared in full during this life. We must learn how to share what is appropriate and guard ourselves from having loose lips.

Communication is hard enough already, but adding difficult truths to the mix can make a train wreck of it. We cannot continue to bring up the past and throw it in the face of our friends and family (see Jeffrey R. Holland's talk - Remember Lot's Wife). We must learn to control the truth that leaves our mouths in a way that benefits others. "For of him unto whom much is given much is required," (D&C 82:3) and only when we use the truth we have correctly will the Savior's words "And ye shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free," (St John 8:32) be fulfilled. 


I hope I do better at this in the future. I have tended to throw out "truths" of things in the past to prove points or whatever and it only offends and wounds. I'm deeply sorry if that was any of you (especially if I haven't told you personally). Know I am working on speaking and being better, but it will take time. Not all of us are King Lamoni who gets transformed in a day, you know.

Sustaining Church Leaders

     I was disheartened days ago when I overheard a man I had respected discuss with another man what they saw as flaws in the Church today. One man pointed to a large number of women who he knew that had left the Church after receiving degrees in a high ranking field. He pointed to the positions of general authorities on women's roles and blamed them entirely. He continued and questioned saying, "Why don't fourteen year-old girls pass the sacrament?" The other responded "President Hinckley said he didn't know why," to which the reply was "Well, then it is time for a change."

     They continued discussing the issue and pointing to the need for change in the Church on the matter. One stated how it was nearly impossible to get anything to go up through the leadership of the Church because of all the muck you had to wade through. The other said the only thing to do was to form a committee, research the issue and present both the problem and the solution to the brethren. This is the only way things get done in the Church today, he said.

     I had to stay several feet away since all I wanted to do was scream at them. I kept screaming in my mind "How can you be saying these things?! I know you and what you are and some of the callings you've had the Church. What is wrong with you and your friend?" The spirit wisely told me to hold my tongue and I thankfully did. But the questions bothered me for days. It wasn't just the conversation - it was the tone and ideas within it.

     I have been reading and praying, searching for meaningful words on these subjects. I think I found what I needed and I'll share it with you.

     My first thoughts focused on their contempt for the way the brethren and other leaders were dealing with the issues facing women in the gospel and world today. I found a meaningful quote by Elder Ezra Taft Benson given at BYU:

"The prophet is not required to have any particular earthly training or credentials to speak on any subject or act on any matter at any time. Sometimes there are those who feel their earthly knowledge on a certain subject is superior to the heavenly knowledge which God gives to His prophet on the same subject. They feel the prophet must have the same earthly credentials or training which they have had before they will accept anything the prophet has to say that might contradict their earthly schooling. How much earthly schooling did Joseph Smith have? Yet he gave revelations on all kinds of subjects. We haven’t yet had a prophet who earned a doctorate in any subject, but as someone said, 'A prophet may not have his Ph.D. but he certainly has his LDS.' We encourage earthly knowledge in many areas, but remember, if there is ever a conflict between earthly knowledge and the words of the prophet, you stand with the prophet, and you’ll be blessed and time will vindicate you," (BYU, February 26, 1980).

     We cannot presume to tell the Prophet what is wrong with the Church and how to fix it. He is the Lord's anointed and he will be instructed as necessary for the development of the Church and kingdom of God on the earth. Only he can receive revelation on how to change the current setup and if their is a conflict with our thoughts and the Church, we side with the Prophet (who the brethren also side with).
     Another good quote, this time from President Harold B Lee:

Now the only safety we have as members of this church is to do exactly what the Lord said to the Church in that day when the Church was organized. We must learn to give heed to the words and commandments that the Lord shall give through his prophet, 'as he receiveth them, walking in all holiness before me ... as if from mine own mouth, in all patience and faith.' (D&C 21:4-5.) There will be some things that take patience and faith. You may not like what comes from the authority of the Church. It may contradict your political views. It may contradict your social views. It may interfere with some of your social life. But if you listen to these things, as if from the mouth of the Lord himself, with patience and faith, the promise is that 'the gates of hell shall not prevail against you; yea, and the Lord God will disperse the powers of darkness from before you, and cause the heavens to shake for your good, and his name's glory,'" (October Conference 1970, Sunday Afternoon Session).

     It seems to state the obvious. We may have extreme issues with the current policy of the Church regarding women and the priesthood or the role of women. It doesn't matter. Our place is not to question the brethren, especially the prophet, but to seek our own confirmation of the truth as they give it to us and ask for humility when we struggle with what they say. They manage the Church according to revelation from the Lord and not the philosophies of men. Again, we must follow the Prophet even if it conflicts with our social or political views.

     We are not sheep. It is not healthy for us to blindly go through life. However, it is not our place to question the divinely appointed leaders of the Church. Said Wilford Woodruff,

"The Lord will never permit me or any other man who stands as President of this Church to lead you astray. It is not in the programme. It is not in the mind of God. If I were to attempt that, the Lord would remove me out of my place, and so He will any other man who attempts to lead the children of men astray from the oracles of God and from their duty," (Sixty-first Semiannual General Conference of the Church, Monday, October 6, 1890, Salt Lake City, Utah. Reported in Deseret Evening News, October 11, 1890, p. 2.). 

     Hence, questioning the President of the Church's decisions is not healthy at all. It is saying the Lord is not in control and quite incapable of managing the affairs of His children through the Church. So we do not follow blindly, but we follow. Get going and do what the Apostles say and pray for a testimony of it as you go. 
     Brigham Young spoke about his way of handling any faults he thought to perceive in the Prophet Joseph Smith in this manner, 

"Though I admitted in my feelings and knew all the time that Joseph was a human being and subject to err, still it was none of my business to look after his faults. … He was called of God; God dictated him, and if He had a mind to leave him to himself and let him commit an error, that was no business of mine. … He was God’s servant, and not mine,” (Journal of Discourses, 4:297.).

     That quote was ideal for me! Of course they are men and have faults. If they were free of faults, wouldn't they be translated by now? Ask any of their family and dear friends and I am sure they can remember things from the past that are not pristine. That doesn't matter though. Reflect on the pre-conversion state of the sons of Mosiah. Mormon said "for they were the very vilest of sinners. And the Lord saw fit in his infinite mercy to spare them," (Mosiah 28:4) and we should all be grateful He did. Their faith lead to the conversion of thousands of Lamanites and changed the course of history in Americas as well as provide priceless scriptures for our day and age.

     Our leaders are flawed men and have their own troubles to deal with on top of dealing with ours. The Lord uses them to help us and He blesses us when we obey their counsel and harken to their teachings. Elder George F. Richards (President of the Council of the Twelve) said, "When we say anything bad about the leaders of the Church, whether true or false, we tend to impair their influence and their usefulness and are thus working against the Lord and his cause," (In Conference Report, Apr. 1947, p. 24.). 

     It is not our place to tear them down in any way. We must never engage in evil-speaking of the Lord's anointed for any reason. President David of McKay stated,

"Better stop murmuring and build. Remember that one of the worst means of tearing down an individual is slander. It is one of the most poisonous weapons that the evil one uses. Backbiting and evil speaking throw us into the class of malefactors rather than the class of benefactors,”(Gospel Ideals, Salt Lake City: Improvement Era, 1953, pp. 142–43.).

     I freely admit that I don't know all the answers to God's rationale on keeping woman out of performing priesthood ordinances for the Church like the sacrament. All I understand is that he gave to the two genders differing, but overlapping charges from the time they left Eden until today. As the Family Proclamation states, 

"By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation," (General Relief Society Meeting, September 23, 1995).

     In considering the roles of women in the Church and world, remember such examples as Mother Theresa - who never married or had children. Think inside the Church of Sheri Dew who was a counselor in the General Relief Society Presidency of the Church, but also never married. Think also of the college degrees those women who serve in the General Relief Society Presidency carry. We are encouraged to obtain as much education as possible and that is not a gender specific commandment. Women are not simply cattle or servants - they have high and exalted roles to fulfill. That is usually within the role of mother, but not always.
     Speaking to my wife about this matter she said that it is very clear to her there are different roles for the two of us. She has inspiration and guidance for the children that I never have had, nor expect to. Her calling as a mother is unique to her gender and carries great responsibilities and blessings. Some days I come home and she is frazzled by the behavior of the children, but it only takes one smile or hug to make her day. She loves them and would do anything for them. I love them too, but I cannot compete with her in that respect.

     Outside of my home (and inside) my faith is with the brethren and the Church. When they ask us to do something or be something, I feel convinced that is the course of action I need to take. There are no other options for me because I know it is true and want the blessings obedience brings into my life. When I receive a mandate from a priesthood leader, local or general, I know it is from God because that person was called by Him to help me and others. 

     Our sustaining our leaders means exactly that. We are to follow, uplift and support them by whatever means we can. That is what God asks of us and speaking ill of them or their work is only going to drag us down to Hell. This work is true and that means the Apostles and Prophets are called of God and speak for Him. I know it is true and can never deny it. It is what keeps me going and it guides my faith when I hear them speak or read their words. 
     They truly are men of God and anyone can see it by the fruits of their labors - they bring others to Christ. They bring me to Christ. They can bring you to Christ as well. Listen to them. Try their words. Have faith and you will see the beauty that is in this restored Church and gospel. God loves us and gave us these leaders to help us in this, our time of need. Believe in Christ and his servants.