My last post was a bit more unstructured than I usually care for, but it was what I was going through in my personal pursuit of truth and therefore was appropriate for this blog. I feel that I should explain one item to also help clarify a point that I wish to make.
Years ago on my mission a member of a ward I was in told me, "You'd make a great child psychologist." This stuck in my head and I couldn't shake it for a couple of weeks. I took it to the temple and asked the Lord if it meant that was what I should do. Would that be a good thing? The answer was, in the best way I can describe it, Sure.
This lead me to decide to go to Brigham Young University to pursue my degree. I had met many people who had been mislead by popular psychology and didn't want to add to their problems. I figured learning from the Lord's college would overcome those issues and enable me to better help the populous. After my mission ended I met my wife, got married and moved up here to Provo, Utah.
Over time I found that I didn't want to be an academic researcher or book writer (which is mostly what a PhD in psychology gets you); I wanted to help children and families. This caused me to modify my major to Marriage, Family and Human Development in order to guide me later towards an advanced degree in Marriage and Family Therapy. I prayed and asked and again was given more or less, Okay, as an answer.
During that time I got a job working for a company assisting the mentally disabled. While it was a good job and I learned a lot about people and life, the most important thing I learned was I was in the wrong field. I didn't cope with other peoples' problems well at all. If they didn't improve and do better I was sunk. It is not good for your therapist to become critically depressed over your depression.
With time on my hands (I had failed a course in my field and been put on probation at school) and some talking with my wife we looked at my strengths. I did well in math and understood science fairly easily so we tried Civil Engineering. Surely this was a better choice? Talking with the Lord yielded the reply Go for it. We went at it which enabled me to find the motivation and resources to re enroll in school and remove myself from the bad academic standing. Yet I found myself in a hole again after one and a half semesters.
We had other important revelations we were trying to understand at the time and mentioning them to others just caused many to doubt we felt the spirit at all once they proved false in one manner or another. They lovingly suggest I stop trying to interpret the Lord's will. This makes it all seem like I can't understand the spirit for myself or my family. It appears as though I am more lost than I was before. That would be further from the truth than many realize.
These past five years I have gone non-stop at trying to learn the Lord's will for me. I have battled sickness, infirmities, depression, financial burdens and more while pleading continually with the Lord to strengthen and enable me to serve and save my family. He has done so and on the way taught me about the process of revelation.
The Lord speaks to each of us and guides us. We only have to tune in and listen correctly. While I have been wrong on many points from revelations in the past I have become better at discerning truth from error and my own will from the Lord's. Occasionally the two line up. More often than not I find myself trying to find the Lord from being a little off course. I am not like Mozart with music when it comes to the spirit. I have to be schooled and taught how to hear correctly over time. But isn't that the way most of us are?
A few weeks ago I was told clearly by God what I was - I am a teacher. I took that and applied it to my life and found a career that was in line with that and my strengths. I asked God if that was okay because I wanted to do it and desired it. This time the answer was Yes, that is a great choice. The most important part was that I chose and did it in a way that incorporated his will for me and my deepest desires and hopes.
I ran with what I had before and called it the Lord's will for me. It was my way of showing faith. I over interpreted things for certain, but I did the best I could with the material given. When I had a confirmation (or at the least not a negation) I went full steam with it. I prayed and hoped and wished it to be his will each time. The truth was His will was to guide me along and lead me to where I needed to be.
It took years but He has guided me to this point in a way that I couldn't have understood until now. He wants me to choose a career that will enable me to be happy, help others and provide for my family. He has helped me find it. I am sure of it as I am sure that He lives and loves us all.
This is truth.
Showing posts with label revelation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label revelation. Show all posts
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Life Revisited
When I was a younger man I decided what I wanted to be when I grew up. I knew I wanted to have plenty of money, since we never did growing up, and I wanted to help people. A doctor seemed right up my alley. Shortly after this decision I was visited by a prompting from the Spirit which I neither recognized nor heeded. I still remember that moment.
A decade later and I have learned more and seen more than I had imagined. Not in a tour de earth or scholastic sense, but in a life lessons way. My abilities in various fields are not lacking and I was told by the Spirit years ago that I would be good at whatever I choose to do. But prestige (PhD) has never been a good enough reason and money is no longer the driving force. So what did I learn and what am I going to do about it?
I learned that following God is best. To never choose an option that removes me from his grace. To always stay true to myself and to the gospel. To follow the guidance of the Spirit when given and to put my family first.
Elder Henry B Eyring, speaking on the family, once said, "The difference in cost between what the world tells you is necessary and what your children really need could allow you the margin in time that a father and mother might need with their children to bring them home to their Heavenly Father," (The Family, BYU Speeches, 1995). That verse is pure gospel. Think of all the things we don't really need. TV, movies, big houses, and even things like dishwashers, cars, in home laundry machines and so forth can be done without if needed. And possibly not having to work the extra long shift at the demanding job to pay for them would provide the opportunities for a family to stay together.
Stephanie and have been talking about this idea of more time at home verses more money. We have agreed completely that my presence at home is far more important than unnecessary luxuries.
With that let me go back ten years and explain what the aforementioned prompting said. I had been reevaluating my future career options since the prospect of a decade in school, especially after high school, coupled with long hours seemed a little too far out there; so the doctor thing was out the window. But what to do now?
In the briefest of conversations I felt the idea thrust upon me: You could be a teacher. That was it. There was no fanfare, no forced opinions and certainly no angelic visitations. Just a simple and clear thought. I, of course, dismissed it immediately as I had seen my parents suffer with poor pay checks, demanding schedules and often dreary summer jobs to make ends meet. Why would I inflict that on myself and my future family
A week and half ago I felt another prompting: You are a teacher. I have been teaching various gospel classes for years now in different callings. They have been the joy of my life outside my family. Nothing makes me happier than to help another person learn and grow in some respect. I have even taught things like math on the side. I don't seem to be able to get away from it and it has finally broken through to me what this all means.
I AM A TEACHER! I don't know what I will be teaching plus the financial burden will be hard and the effort great, but I know that the best thing for me is to teach in some way. Even just thinking about it makes me feel at peace and like I finally understand part of who I am.
The part that is best for me is that it really is my choice. God never told me to do it. He just allowed me chances to experience it and learn for myself who I was and what makes me happy. He told me years ago that I would do well at whatever I chose to do and I choose this - teaching.
Now all that is left is to figure out what to teach; oh, and finish school...
A decade later and I have learned more and seen more than I had imagined. Not in a tour de earth or scholastic sense, but in a life lessons way. My abilities in various fields are not lacking and I was told by the Spirit years ago that I would be good at whatever I choose to do. But prestige (PhD) has never been a good enough reason and money is no longer the driving force. So what did I learn and what am I going to do about it?
I learned that following God is best. To never choose an option that removes me from his grace. To always stay true to myself and to the gospel. To follow the guidance of the Spirit when given and to put my family first.
Elder Henry B Eyring, speaking on the family, once said, "The difference in cost between what the world tells you is necessary and what your children really need could allow you the margin in time that a father and mother might need with their children to bring them home to their Heavenly Father," (The Family, BYU Speeches, 1995). That verse is pure gospel. Think of all the things we don't really need. TV, movies, big houses, and even things like dishwashers, cars, in home laundry machines and so forth can be done without if needed. And possibly not having to work the extra long shift at the demanding job to pay for them would provide the opportunities for a family to stay together.
Stephanie and have been talking about this idea of more time at home verses more money. We have agreed completely that my presence at home is far more important than unnecessary luxuries.
With that let me go back ten years and explain what the aforementioned prompting said. I had been reevaluating my future career options since the prospect of a decade in school, especially after high school, coupled with long hours seemed a little too far out there; so the doctor thing was out the window. But what to do now?
In the briefest of conversations I felt the idea thrust upon me: You could be a teacher. That was it. There was no fanfare, no forced opinions and certainly no angelic visitations. Just a simple and clear thought. I, of course, dismissed it immediately as I had seen my parents suffer with poor pay checks, demanding schedules and often dreary summer jobs to make ends meet. Why would I inflict that on myself and my future family
A week and half ago I felt another prompting: You are a teacher. I have been teaching various gospel classes for years now in different callings. They have been the joy of my life outside my family. Nothing makes me happier than to help another person learn and grow in some respect. I have even taught things like math on the side. I don't seem to be able to get away from it and it has finally broken through to me what this all means.
I AM A TEACHER! I don't know what I will be teaching plus the financial burden will be hard and the effort great, but I know that the best thing for me is to teach in some way. Even just thinking about it makes me feel at peace and like I finally understand part of who I am.
The part that is best for me is that it really is my choice. God never told me to do it. He just allowed me chances to experience it and learn for myself who I was and what makes me happy. He told me years ago that I would do well at whatever I chose to do and I choose this - teaching.
Now all that is left is to figure out what to teach; oh, and finish school...
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Earmarking Revelation
You ever get tired of those pesky congressmen? They tell the media how important some legislation is and then before it passes add on dozens of tiny little clauses that have nothing to do with the original issue. It drives me batty every time! How can they excuse the ridiculous amount of time spent lobbying for their pet projects when a quick and effective decision on the main issue would lead to time available later for their non-essentials? Anyway, this isn't a political blog...
My thoughts are on the parallels between the legislative world and the induction into our lives of personal and general revelation. How often do we find ourselves tagging on non-essentials to revelation? I feel it is more common than we think. For instance when a general time period is given, such as "the great day of the Lord is nigh at hand," (D&C 43:17), do we tack on a specific such as Y2K or 2012? Can we learn to distinguish between our own selfishly driven ideas and the pure truth as given by the Lord?
It may sound cruel, but we do it all the time. The Lord allows us a glimpse into the infinite and we start adding on to it. When a prompting or blessing is given we should write it down and keep it like we received it. We may need to prepare for the future or internalize something from it, but we shouldn't bog ourselves down by changing the original heavenly message with our earthly thinking thereby tainting the spiritual outcomes that may come of it later.
Remember Laman and Lemuel? They were told by a prophet of God that they were to go to Jerusalem and get the brass plates from Laban. Without any specifics they went up and tried one way, which failed, and "were about to return to [their] father in the wilderness," (1 Nephi 3:14). After a stirring speech, Nephi rouses enough courage for a second shot, but their contempt, spiritual laziness and continual addendums to the revelations of the Lord overcame them insomuch that "they did smite [Nephi and Sam] even with a rod," (1 Nephi 3:28). Somehow they had added to the revelation that they "should go unto the house of Laban, and seek the records, and bring them down...into the wilderness," (1 Nephi 3:4), the clause that if it didn't work after one or two tries that it wasn't a real revelation.
Another example comes from the story of Oliver Cowdery and his attempt to translate the Book of Mormon. He desired to do the same as Joseph and asked as much of him. With the Lord's approval he set about the task, but then failed. What happened?
In the process of revelation and in making important decisions, fear almost always plays a destructive, sometimes paralyzing role. To Oliver Cowdery, who missed the opportunity of a lifetime because he didn't seize it in the lifetime of the opportunity, the Lord said, "You did not continue as you commenced." Does that sound familiar to those who have been illuminated and then knuckled under to second thoughts and returning doubts? "It is not expedient that you should translate now," the Lord said in language that must have been very hard for Oliver to hear. "Behold, it was expedient when you commenced; but you feared, and the time is past, and it is not expedient now," (Cast Not Away Therefore Your Confidence, Jeffrey R. Holland, BYU Speeches, March 1999).
Oliver added doubts and fears to his revelation from the Lord. He earmarked it to the point that he could not sustain the faith needed to translate. Aren't we all like this? We cannot let ourselves succumb to extra thoughts that destroy the powerful witnesses we are meant to gain from revelation in its pure form. God wants us to succeed and we must do so by following his word and only his word. We can do it and it just requires a little faith. May we all have such faith, in our Lord's name, Jesus Christ, amen.
My thoughts are on the parallels between the legislative world and the induction into our lives of personal and general revelation. How often do we find ourselves tagging on non-essentials to revelation? I feel it is more common than we think. For instance when a general time period is given, such as "the great day of the Lord is nigh at hand," (D&C 43:17), do we tack on a specific such as Y2K or 2012? Can we learn to distinguish between our own selfishly driven ideas and the pure truth as given by the Lord?
It may sound cruel, but we do it all the time. The Lord allows us a glimpse into the infinite and we start adding on to it. When a prompting or blessing is given we should write it down and keep it like we received it. We may need to prepare for the future or internalize something from it, but we shouldn't bog ourselves down by changing the original heavenly message with our earthly thinking thereby tainting the spiritual outcomes that may come of it later.
Remember Laman and Lemuel? They were told by a prophet of God that they were to go to Jerusalem and get the brass plates from Laban. Without any specifics they went up and tried one way, which failed, and "were about to return to [their] father in the wilderness," (1 Nephi 3:14). After a stirring speech, Nephi rouses enough courage for a second shot, but their contempt, spiritual laziness and continual addendums to the revelations of the Lord overcame them insomuch that "they did smite [Nephi and Sam] even with a rod," (1 Nephi 3:28). Somehow they had added to the revelation that they "should go unto the house of Laban, and seek the records, and bring them down...into the wilderness," (1 Nephi 3:4), the clause that if it didn't work after one or two tries that it wasn't a real revelation.
Another example comes from the story of Oliver Cowdery and his attempt to translate the Book of Mormon. He desired to do the same as Joseph and asked as much of him. With the Lord's approval he set about the task, but then failed. What happened?
In the process of revelation and in making important decisions, fear almost always plays a destructive, sometimes paralyzing role. To Oliver Cowdery, who missed the opportunity of a lifetime because he didn't seize it in the lifetime of the opportunity, the Lord said, "You did not continue as you commenced." Does that sound familiar to those who have been illuminated and then knuckled under to second thoughts and returning doubts? "It is not expedient that you should translate now," the Lord said in language that must have been very hard for Oliver to hear. "Behold, it was expedient when you commenced; but you feared, and the time is past, and it is not expedient now," (Cast Not Away Therefore Your Confidence, Jeffrey R. Holland, BYU Speeches, March 1999).
Oliver added doubts and fears to his revelation from the Lord. He earmarked it to the point that he could not sustain the faith needed to translate. Aren't we all like this? We cannot let ourselves succumb to extra thoughts that destroy the powerful witnesses we are meant to gain from revelation in its pure form. God wants us to succeed and we must do so by following his word and only his word. We can do it and it just requires a little faith. May we all have such faith, in our Lord's name, Jesus Christ, amen.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Experimenting with Faith
I have been in the midst of an experiment these past several months. The details are too personal to share in general, but the journey and methods are too worthwhile not to expound on. They have enlightened and enriched my soul and continue to strengthen my resolve and faith.
Months ago I felt impressed with a piece of personal revelation. This simple feeling carried with it a lot of consequence, but not a lot of evidence. It even seemed that over the next few months it was more contradicted than upheld. Days and weeks passed with further lack of support. I wondered what was going on and if I had misinterpreted something and spoken incorrectly.
Further, I worried about how to resolve it since the time period had not passed and the signs of its truthfulness had not come. The time came where I began to not only ask if it was right, but what was I supposed to be learning from all of this regardless?
"But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him," (Hebrews 11:6).
For certain this was the concern. I needed to have faith, but faith must be in truth to be worth anything. Alma, speaking to Korihor, said, "I am grieved because of the hardness of your heart, yea, that ye will still resist the spirit of truth, that thy soul may be destroyed," (Alma 30:46). This is a fact in the gospel. Christ said, "And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free," (John 8:32). So I was not needlessly worried. Clinging to truth is fundamental.
The issue grew and grew within me and I stressed over it time and time again. What was I involved in? If it was of God it was good, but if it was not then I was in trouble. Which was it? Finally I began to remember the words of Alma I had discovered before my mission:
"Now, as I said concerning faith - that is was not a perfect knowledge - even so it is with my words. Ye cannot know of their surety at first, unto perfection, any more than faith is a perfect knowledge. But behold, if ye will awake and arouse your faculties, even to an experiment upon my words, and exercise a particle of faith, yea even if ye can no more than desire to believe, let this desire work in you, even until ye believe in a manner that ye can give place for a portion of my words," (Alma 32:26-27).
Life is hard and trying and uncertain and it cannot be solved in a moment. We do not gain truth instantaneously like downloading a computer program. "For he will give unto the faithful line upon line, precept upon precept; and I will try you and prove you herewith," (D&C 98:12, see 11-12). It is a divine mandate that we learn a little at a time not all at once.
With all this came the answer to the unspoken question - why do we learn this way? Why can't answers be shown unto us and the faith we strive for given to us by miracles and signs?
"Yea, there are many who do say: If thou wilt show unto us a sign from heaven, then we shall know of a surety, then we shall believe. Now I ask, is this faith? Behold, I say unto you, Nay; for if a man knoweth a thing he hath no cause to believe, for he knoweth it. And now how much more cursed is he that knoweth the will of God and doeth it not, than he that only believeth, or only hath cause to believe, and falleth into transgression?" (Alma 32:17-19).
God is gracious enough to allow us time to learn so we have time to grow. We cannot progress in an instant from men who are not "even as much as the dust of the earth," (Mosiah 2:25) to "inherit thrones, kingdoms, principalities, and powers, dominions, all heights and depths," (D&C 132:19). It just doesn't work.
I have learned that the point of this whole endeavor, regardless, is to understand how to receive revelation and know of its truth. We must experiment upon the word we receive, by the voice of others or the Spirit of God, in order to obtain the sure knowledge we seek. It takes time and patience, but in the end it "yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness," (Heb 12:11) and the salvation of our souls. I hope all of us can do this and pray so in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
Months ago I felt impressed with a piece of personal revelation. This simple feeling carried with it a lot of consequence, but not a lot of evidence. It even seemed that over the next few months it was more contradicted than upheld. Days and weeks passed with further lack of support. I wondered what was going on and if I had misinterpreted something and spoken incorrectly.
Further, I worried about how to resolve it since the time period had not passed and the signs of its truthfulness had not come. The time came where I began to not only ask if it was right, but what was I supposed to be learning from all of this regardless?
"But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him," (Hebrews 11:6).
For certain this was the concern. I needed to have faith, but faith must be in truth to be worth anything. Alma, speaking to Korihor, said, "I am grieved because of the hardness of your heart, yea, that ye will still resist the spirit of truth, that thy soul may be destroyed," (Alma 30:46). This is a fact in the gospel. Christ said, "And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free," (John 8:32). So I was not needlessly worried. Clinging to truth is fundamental.
The issue grew and grew within me and I stressed over it time and time again. What was I involved in? If it was of God it was good, but if it was not then I was in trouble. Which was it? Finally I began to remember the words of Alma I had discovered before my mission:
"Now, as I said concerning faith - that is was not a perfect knowledge - even so it is with my words. Ye cannot know of their surety at first, unto perfection, any more than faith is a perfect knowledge. But behold, if ye will awake and arouse your faculties, even to an experiment upon my words, and exercise a particle of faith, yea even if ye can no more than desire to believe, let this desire work in you, even until ye believe in a manner that ye can give place for a portion of my words," (Alma 32:26-27).
Life is hard and trying and uncertain and it cannot be solved in a moment. We do not gain truth instantaneously like downloading a computer program. "For he will give unto the faithful line upon line, precept upon precept; and I will try you and prove you herewith," (D&C 98:12, see 11-12). It is a divine mandate that we learn a little at a time not all at once.
With all this came the answer to the unspoken question - why do we learn this way? Why can't answers be shown unto us and the faith we strive for given to us by miracles and signs?
"Yea, there are many who do say: If thou wilt show unto us a sign from heaven, then we shall know of a surety, then we shall believe. Now I ask, is this faith? Behold, I say unto you, Nay; for if a man knoweth a thing he hath no cause to believe, for he knoweth it. And now how much more cursed is he that knoweth the will of God and doeth it not, than he that only believeth, or only hath cause to believe, and falleth into transgression?" (Alma 32:17-19).
God is gracious enough to allow us time to learn so we have time to grow. We cannot progress in an instant from men who are not "even as much as the dust of the earth," (Mosiah 2:25) to "inherit thrones, kingdoms, principalities, and powers, dominions, all heights and depths," (D&C 132:19). It just doesn't work.
I have learned that the point of this whole endeavor, regardless, is to understand how to receive revelation and know of its truth. We must experiment upon the word we receive, by the voice of others or the Spirit of God, in order to obtain the sure knowledge we seek. It takes time and patience, but in the end it "yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness," (Heb 12:11) and the salvation of our souls. I hope all of us can do this and pray so in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Timing
I was loading a semi-truck yesterday and getting very frustrated. It was the third day in a row where I was late at work and it was taking a toll on me. Anger welled inside of me and I was less than hospitable. I really couldn't seem to calm down about the situation. Why was my time being constricted like this? I had a lot to do both with homework and family, wasn't that more important?
Certainly, if nothing else, I had the right to be angry and impatient; right?
"When we are unduly impatient we are suggesting that we know what is best--better than does God. Or, at least, we are asserting that our timetable is better than His. Either way we are questioning the reality of God's omniscience as if, as some seem to believe, God were on some sort of postdoctoral fellowship and were not quite in charge of everything." (Neal A. Maxwell, Patience, BYU Speeches, Nov 27, 1979).
Apparently not. The truth of the matter is God is in charge of everything. He is the one who designed the plan in which we are participating. It is to Him we promised, long ago, to follow through with the blueprints He gave us. Sometimes we forget that we must have faith, not only that something is what God wants for us, but that it is also good because of it - that what He wills is the best and will bring us the must joy.
If God lets things happen so that I am late at work, through no fault of my own, then that is where He wants me to be at that time. How dare I suggest that in my weak and inexperienced position He should bend His omniscient will to mine. That may sound harsh, but it is true. We cannot become impatient and frustrated by circumstances without insinuating that the previous is true.
Remember the words of the scriptures:
"Rest in the lord, and wait patiently for him," (Psalms 37:7)
"I WAITED patiently for the LORD; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry," (Psalms 40:1)
"Better is the end of a thing than the beginning thereof: and the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit. Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools. Say not thou, What is the cause that the former days were better than these? for thou dost not enquire wisely concerning this." (Ecclesiastes 7:8-10)
It would be best if we all adopted the philosophy, "Be still my soul, thy wise, thy heavenly friend, through thorny ways leads to a joyful end," (Be Still My Soul, Hymns #124). In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
Certainly, if nothing else, I had the right to be angry and impatient; right?
"When we are unduly impatient we are suggesting that we know what is best--better than does God. Or, at least, we are asserting that our timetable is better than His. Either way we are questioning the reality of God's omniscience as if, as some seem to believe, God were on some sort of postdoctoral fellowship and were not quite in charge of everything." (Neal A. Maxwell, Patience, BYU Speeches, Nov 27, 1979).
Apparently not. The truth of the matter is God is in charge of everything. He is the one who designed the plan in which we are participating. It is to Him we promised, long ago, to follow through with the blueprints He gave us. Sometimes we forget that we must have faith, not only that something is what God wants for us, but that it is also good because of it - that what He wills is the best and will bring us the must joy.
If God lets things happen so that I am late at work, through no fault of my own, then that is where He wants me to be at that time. How dare I suggest that in my weak and inexperienced position He should bend His omniscient will to mine. That may sound harsh, but it is true. We cannot become impatient and frustrated by circumstances without insinuating that the previous is true.
Remember the words of the scriptures:
"Rest in the lord, and wait patiently for him," (Psalms 37:7)
"I WAITED patiently for the LORD; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry," (Psalms 40:1)
"Better is the end of a thing than the beginning thereof: and the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit. Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools. Say not thou, What is the cause that the former days were better than these? for thou dost not enquire wisely concerning this." (Ecclesiastes 7:8-10)
It would be best if we all adopted the philosophy, "Be still my soul, thy wise, thy heavenly friend, through thorny ways leads to a joyful end," (Be Still My Soul, Hymns #124). In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
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