Process of Revelation

My last post was a bit more unstructured than I usually care for, but it was what I was going through in my personal pursuit of truth and therefore was appropriate for this blog. I feel that I should explain one item to also help clarify a point that I wish to make.

Years ago on my mission a member of a ward I was in told me, "You'd make a great child psychologist." This stuck in my head and I couldn't shake it for a couple of weeks. I took it to the temple and asked the Lord if it meant that was what I should do. Would that be a good thing? The answer was, in the best way I can describe it, Sure.

This lead me to decide to go to Brigham Young University to pursue my degree. I had met many people who had been mislead by popular psychology and didn't want to add to their problems. I figured learning from the Lord's college would overcome those issues and enable me to better help the populous. After my mission ended I met my wife, got married and moved up here to Provo, Utah.

Over time I found that I didn't want to be an academic researcher or book writer (which is mostly what a PhD in psychology gets you); I wanted to help children and families. This caused me to modify my major to Marriage, Family and Human Development in order to guide me later towards an advanced degree in Marriage and Family Therapy. I prayed and asked and again was given more or less, Okay, as an answer.

During that time I got a job working for a company assisting the mentally disabled. While it was a good job and I learned a lot about people and life, the most important thing I learned was I was in the wrong field. I didn't cope with other peoples' problems well at all. If they didn't improve and do better I was sunk. It is not good for your therapist to become critically depressed over your depression.

With time on my hands (I had failed a course in my field and been put on probation at school) and some talking with my wife we looked at my strengths. I did well in math and understood science fairly easily so we tried Civil Engineering. Surely this was a better choice? Talking with the Lord yielded the reply Go for it. We went at it which enabled me to find the motivation and resources to re enroll in school and remove myself from the bad academic standing. Yet I found myself in a hole again after one and a half semesters.

We had other important revelations we were trying to understand at the time and mentioning them to others just caused many to doubt we felt the spirit at all once they proved false in one manner or another. They lovingly suggest I stop trying to interpret the Lord's will. This makes it all seem like I can't understand the spirit for myself or my family. It appears as though I am more lost than I was before. That would be further from the truth than many realize.

These past five years I have gone non-stop at trying to learn the Lord's will for me. I have battled sickness, infirmities, depression, financial burdens and more while pleading continually with the Lord to strengthen and enable me to serve and save my family. He has done so and on the way taught me about the process of revelation.

The Lord speaks to each of us and guides us. We only have to tune in and listen correctly. While I have been wrong on many points from revelations in the past I have become better at discerning truth from error and my own will from the Lord's. Occasionally the two line up. More often than not I find myself trying to find the Lord from being a little off course. I am not like Mozart with music when it comes to the spirit. I have to be schooled and taught how to hear correctly over time. But isn't that the way most of us are?

A few weeks ago I was told clearly by God what I was - I am a teacher. I took that and applied it to my life and found a career that was in line with that and my strengths. I asked God if that was okay because I wanted to do it and desired it. This time the answer was Yes, that is a great choice. The most important part was that I chose and did it in a way that incorporated his will for me and my deepest desires and hopes.

I ran with what I had before and called it the Lord's will for me. It was my way of showing faith. I over interpreted things for certain, but I did the best I could with the material given. When I had a confirmation (or at the least not a negation) I went full steam with it. I prayed and hoped and wished it to be his will each time. The truth was His will was to guide me along and lead me to where I needed to be.

It took years but He has guided me to this point in a way that I couldn't have understood until now. He wants me to choose a career that will enable me to be happy, help others and provide for my family. He has helped me find it. I am sure of it as I am sure that He lives and loves us all.

This is truth.