What does the atonement mean to me. I wondered as I stared at the computer screen. I'd heard it hundreds of times before and had plenty of Sunday school answers to back me up when questioned. But that wasn't what my Dad asked me this time. He wanted my take on it. He wanted to know my experience with it. I decided to write my first impressions and follow up later after giving it more thought.
So here is round one:
My life has mostly been consumed by school, work, and family of late. Since 2005 I have been trying to obtain some kind of bachelor's degree with varying success, but no actual document. As I finally draw to the end of my undergraduate career, what weighs heavily on my mind is what I've gone through as a person, as a father, a husband, and part of a couple.
Life hasn't exactly handed me a stack of money nor ease and comfort. I'm not saying I compare to starving people in third world countries and I certainly have always had a roof over my head. Some of you may, upon hearing what I've gone through, laugh and say how weak and pitiful I am. Yet, my challenges are my own and have caused me grief and struggle throughout my time on Earth. They belong to me in the most intimate manor possible.
Eons ago, we agreed to be part of this test called life. We volunteered to come down to this planet and experience all life had for us. While I'm not sure what possessed me to elect for lower to middle economic class for my station in life, I am sure that it is part of a grander plan for me.
Imagine a system set up so perfectly that each person in it is given exactly the kind of trials, temptations, and suffering that they can handle and have agency to choose the next course of action. Not that they'll be unscathed or able to avoid further pain, but that they have the ability to choose how to live their life under the circumstances given. For some of us the trials are physical, for some mental, and for all of us their are spiritual trials that must be faced and conquered.
I have faced my fair share of trials so far - not more than, nor less, but my fair share. I've dealt with physical trials in the form of allergies, asthma, weak joints, lack of sleep, lack of proper nutrition, etc. I've had to battle my own mental demons - depression, OCD, my Aspergian tendencies, and my paranoia about friendships (how they don't exit or break apart) - while trying to make relationships with my wife and children work.
Let me say this - that were it not for the atonement of Christ, the refiner's fire would have consumed my all. His support and His taking on my impurities while replacing them with his own goodness has allowed me to progress and become more and more clean and bright as time goes on. I am not a solid lump of gold by any means, but I am no longer a measly clump of metal and dirt. I have value built into me and increased by the grace of God.
The atonement means I can face another day and know my family still has a chance to succeed because as long as I haven't given up, God is still supporting me. His Son knows all our pains and paid to know them at an infinite cost. His gift means I will be better tomorrow and each day after, because I choose to follow Him the best I can. My family is stronger now than ever because we continue to come through one challenge after another together. God's grace is sufficient that we might overcome all things.
From the 13th article of faith, "We believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things."
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