There is nothing so heart wrenching as the thought of friends and family not remaining together. I know that the divorce rate in this country has increased dramatically the past several decades and that it is almost considered the "norm" for people to go through it since - according to statistics - more than one half of all marriages will end in divorce. I know that there are cases where such a move is not only warranted, but actually the best move - usually due to abuse. And I firmly know that - barring such abuse - divorce is an ugly, pernicious sin that is destroying our society and the world at large one family at a time.
Remember what the scriptures tell us about marriage:
"What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." (Matt 19:6, Mark 10:9)
"For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife." (Mark 10:7)
"Thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart, and shalt cleave unto her and none else." (D&C 42:22)
"Neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord." (1 Cor 11:11)
When are we as a people, LDS or not, going to stop making excuses and recognize that we are being lazy and careless with one of the most sacred treasures of eternity?
"Marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God," (Family Proclamation).
It is sacred. It is holy and good. It is designed not only to further society through the bearing and proper raising of children, but to ennoble and uplift the spouses to more exalted spheres of existence. The disintegration of such a union does not come from God. It is rooted in the selfish and unmotivated thoughts and actions of its members.
"Too many who come to marriage have been coddled and spoiled and somehow led to feel that everything must be precisely right at all times, that life is a series of entertainments, that appetites are to satisfied without regard to principle. How tragic the consequences of such hollow and unreasonable thinking!" (Gordon B Hinckley, Ensign, May 1991).
One does not simply "fall out of love." Such a change of direction is the result of not putting the effort and time necessary into the endeavor; letting self override the relationship. Divorce courts are full of documents stating "irreconcilable differences" as the source of the distress. That is nothing more than an admittal of laziness and defeat on the part of the couple. Their problems are the result of the disease of selfishness. This disease has a cure, but it is not in the courts.
"The remedy for domestic problems and irritations is not divorce, but repentance," (Elder Stephen L. Richards, quoted by Boyd K Packer, BYU Speeches 1963).
Let me illustrate with an idea...
Imagine if even just one of the guilty party were to stop and think for a moment. Realizing what they were doing and coming to the knowledge that in large measure they were wrong, they try to change their ways.The initial change might be one-sided - one spouse doing all the work to head in the right direction, but only a completely emotionless and wicked person would be unable to see the truth in a heartfelt and honest attempt to save relationship.
The work will be hard and uncomfortable. It will require effort and dedication on both their parts. But after time the miracle occurs. Communication is resumed. True feelings, not petty surface tension, but real deep and honest emotions, are shared. They remember the reasons they married and the joy they once had. Things progress onward and forward from there as the two continue striving to be one.
I cannot tell you how strongly I feel about this moral plague. It burns deep within me and fuels a desire to shout these thoughts and feelings to those I know struggling with it in their lives. I long to help and to bring them back to the light of the gospel wherein the righteous can find peace. Only through the truths that are contained within its scope can true happiness, in marriage especially, be found.
I hope that people read this for what it is worth. God never said that any part of our existence would be a walk in the park. In fact Christ spoke of heartache, pain and suffering for those who followed him. But the promise is sure - the "afflictions shall be but a small moment; and then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high," (Doctrine and Covenants 121:7-8).
We are to partake in all the Father has for us if we will just endure. Push forward with faith and behold the miracles of life spread out before you. God will always provide a way. I promise this, as have many apostles and prophets of this and former dispensations, in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
SEE ALSO
Dallin H Oaks, "Divorce" http://www.lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?hideNav=1&locale=0&sourceId=ec21b5658af22110VgnVCM100000176f620a____&vgnextoid=2354fccf2b7db010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD
Gospel Library, Gospel Topics, "Divorce"
http://www.lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?locale=0&sourceId=1d7f0bbce1d98010VgnVCM1000004d82620a____&vgnextoid=bbd508f54922d010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD
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